Chaffinch Haiku

This Haiku journey is fantastic! The excitement of learning a new craft and discovering more and more – and thanks to a wonderful response from Maia to my last post, I am now trying to form the Haiku according to this part of her comment:

“I’ve found that working with another rule has drastically improved my haiku. Traditionally, the first and second lines are supposed to form a complete concept/idea/image/emotion, and the second and third, another. What makes the poem is how they work together. I think I got a piece of that idea in this one:

In the mid-day rain
Three goldfinches bicker
Over damp thistle”

Isn’t that beautiful!

The excitement I feel is the same thrill I get working out a new knitting or crochet pattern, or craft experiment – I feel fireworks of joy going off in my brain, in my synapses, in my toes, fingers and just everywhere! I just had to look ‘synapses’ up to see if I got that right and in the definition was this description:

“When all your synapses are firing, you’re focused and your mind feels electric.”

YES! EXACTLY!

Anyway – here goes

Chaffinch 6

sunrise meets the oak                                                                                              branches in a soft pink glow                                                                                       frame for a chaffinch

 

nearly there?                                                                                                                  Thank you Maia!

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3 responses to “Chaffinch Haiku

  1. I never mind creative energy disturbing my sleep and I know that it can’t be resisted but must be attended to. Yes, I did sleep well afterwards and have more Haiku running through my head. Thank you for introducing me to this lovely way with words!! Melissa Xx

    Like

  2. What do you think it means that I have just awoke at half past one a.m. and a Haiku runs through my head? Something about your post unwittingly stuck and I could not get back to sleep until I rechecked the syllable criteria! Feeling rather silly. And excitedly creative, I think you understand.

    While in the garden
    His feet became quite sodden
    From the sideways rain

    Is that correct? Back to bed for me. Goodnight.

    Liked by 2 people

    • WoW! Yes I TOTALLY understand and it makes me smile SO MUCH!!! Also feeling slightly bothered that anything I have done disturbed your sleep, because with 5 young children, sleep must be the most precious thing to you! You seem to have completely nailed it as far as I understand from Maia’s wonderful tutorial – getting the two phrases to work together and in their own right – FABULOUS!!!! hope you got some good sleep afterwards ❤ Thank you SO much for sharing your lovely Haiku!!!!!!!!!!!!! xxxxxxx

      Liked by 1 person

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