Tag Archives: humour

The perils of smoking with Petra Pear

fruit sculpture, health warning

Petra the pear was feeling poorly

She didn’t know quite what to do

Not only was she putting some weight on

But she was suffering from toothache too!

 

She had started to let her self go a bit

Indulging in too many treats

The sugary snacks made her teeth hurt

Causing trouble whenever she eats!

 

For too many years she’d been smoking

Which caused her teeth to go brown

Her gums receding and bleeding

It was time to turn things around.

 

She wanted her life to be fruitful

And continue her family tree

But she had to make sure she was healthy

And in the best shape she could be

 

First stop was to the doctors

To get help with giving up smoking

The harm it was causing her body

Was both sobering and thought-provoking

 

As if heart disease and strokes weren’t enough

It could cause breathing problems as well

Tooth loss, fertility problems and cancer

Not to mention the horrible smell

 

She decided to go for the patches

And started the very next day

She found that her nicotine cravings

Were slowly melting away.

 

Next stop was to the dentists

To see if something could brighten her smile

Because her teeth were so neglected

It was going to take a little while

 

It was not just about brushing and flossing

That Petra had neglected to do

But her sugary addiction

Had helped in her tooth decay too

 

The dentist took some impressions

And gave Petra’s mouth a good clean

She was advised not just to clean the outside

But all around, underneath and between.

 

It was too late for poor Pedra

To save some of the teeth that she had

She had to make some appointments

To remove the ones that were bad

 

Several months later and Pedra is glowing

Her smile now so fresh and so bright

She cleans her teeth like an expert

Even the ones she takes out at night!

 

humour, fruit sculpture, nicotine patch

Poem by Judy E. Martin

fruit sculpture and photos by Sandra Dorey

 

Here we are with another health related Silly Saturday. You might know that Judy, as well as being a hugely talented poet and writer, is also a nurse.

Following a great suggestion from Noelle last week to send Tom the Toothless Tomato to the Institute of Dentistry, we are thinking about coming up with more health related pictures and poems (not all about teeth!) accompanied by fruit, flower or shell assemblages – any ideas?

If you would like to read more of Judy’s work, a humorous twist on life, the world and everything go to her website, where you can also find a link to her book, Rhymes of the Times.

Have a fun Silly Saturday!

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Silly Saturday with Tom

tomato face, funny vegetable

Tom wished he’d looked after his teeth

And not neglected to brush underneath

Too many times he’d forgotten

And now they were rotten

Oh, how Tom wished he’d looked after his teeth!

 

He used to be proud of his smile

His teeth were the whitest for miles

But now it’s not funny

That he’s ended up gummy

It really is cramping his style

 

When younger, Tom was so green

Unaware of the dangers unseen

He thought his teeth would stay white

Much to the ladies’ delight

Despite his poor dental hygiene!

 

Now, to smile makes him blush

Exposing his mouth full of mush

It makes him so sad

He mourns the teeth that he had

How deeply his pride has been crushed!

 

Tom wants to look for romance

But not whilst his teeth are so scant

Beyond his patch he won’t venture

Until he gets his new dentures

He fancies a set of implants!

 

poem by Judy E. Martin

photo sent to me by my friend Joey

 

Another brilliant poem by Judy! ‘ImPLANTS’ HaHaHa!!!

I love how Judy creates something so spot on in what seems like just a few seconds! What a talent!

Pop across to her site and find her poems – they are gems of humour and a wry look at life. Click here for one Judy wrote during our recent heat wave: ‘Hot summer Nights’

Joey grew the tomato and sent me the photo as she knows I see faces in almost anything. I knew I had to send this one on to Judy, just right for a Silly Saturday.

Have you grown any amusing vegetables this year?

Here’s to finding some more silliness to brighten up your Saturday.

 

End of Term

Little Miss M broke up from school on Tuesday, for the Summer Holidays. As she is leaving the school, her classmates made her a card.

They each drew a little picture for her, and some of the pictures were of her.

kids art

There were more on the back

M went through each one telling me a little bit about it, she LOVES her card.

On the back was this picture

no eyes

Little Miss M: “Look Granny, Elliot drawed me with no eyes and no arms.”

Me: “Perhaps he was drawing himself.”

Little Miss M laughed …… ….  ……..  a lot!

“Granny!!! It looks nothing LIKE Elliot!”

 

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

 

 

Cosmic Crochet Along

Behind the scenes I have been beavering away at Helen Shrimpton’s current Crochet Along, the Cosmic Cal 

and I have just completed Part 6cosmic cal

Currently measuring 32″ x 35″.

Some of you might have seen my progress on Instagram.

Having seen so many wonderful creations using gradient yarn, I was eager to try it and after much deliberation went for Rosewater Cocktail, a Scheepjes Whirlrosewater cocktail

You can see all the other colourways here.

It was not easy to choose so I joined the Facebook Group Scheepjes Whirl Creations! 

I could then see all the wonderful things that have been made with Whirls and how each colour looks when it is made up. What a wonderfully helpful community crochet groups are. I’ve learnt so much and been able to ask loads of questions. It has been an enriching experience.

Unsure of how much yarn the blanket would take, I bought 2 Rosewater Cocktails and a Citrus Whirlette as I already knew I wanted to mix up the colours a bit.

But a few rows in I realised I might want to add more colours and bought a Jumping Jelly Whirl.

Scheepjes Whirls, Rosewater Cocktail and Jumping Jelly

In a series of blog posts I will describe how I used the Whirls and Whirlettes together:

I wanted to have some turquoise in the centre so I wound off the dark blue of the outsidescheepjes whirl

Cosmic Cals started to appear on Helen’s Hookaholics and I tried out a couple of designscosmic cal

On the left, I used a 3.50mm hook and included some of the Whirlette, on the right I used a 3mm hook and made the centre look more like a flowerDSC_0377

the centre was made with yarn that was pure turquoise

the star was made with yarn that had flecks of pink in it

 

after the turquoise I introduced a round of Citrus Whilette, which is a burnt orange.

crochet cosmic cal

and then continued with the yellow from the centre of Rosewater Cocktail.

Wanting to define the hexagon I wondered which of the blues to use

cosmic cal

and went for the darker blue with flecks of turquoise in it

(gosh how the colours change according to the light – the photo below does not show the true colours!)cosmic whirl

and then one row of lighter turquoise before returning the where I left off with the Whirl.

Continuing with the Whirl until the end of Part 2crochet cosmic cal

More to follow ……

Edit

You can see progress up to Part 4 in this post: Cosmic 4

~

And on Fridays a treat – pop along over  to Nanacathy for a good old Knit and Natter

Silly Saturday Beach Babies

crochet Silly Saturday

crochet blanket

Joining Cee in her Odd Ball Challenge

Lady Garden

moss, stone, humour, naughty

When it comes to tending the garden

It is purely a matter of taste

Preening and pruning the foliage

Will stop you from  feeling disgraced!

~

With a bit of trimming and strimming

You can create a real work of art

Perhaps a Bermuda triangle

Or maybe a cutesy love heart?

~

Feeling a little more daring?

How about a smart landing strip?

Or maybe just take the lot off

So, your pubes won’t get caught in your zip?

~

Something a little more special

Like a blingy, sparkly vajazzle

That’s sure to tart up the topiary

And give it that old razzle-dazzle!

~

However, you keep the lawn tidy

You mustn’t leave it too late

Don’t let it get too unruly

Or no one will enter the gate!

~

poem by Judy Martin

art in the garden by Sandra Dorey

 

Here we are again with a very Silly Saturday!

We had such a giggle with this one – I send Judy a photo of what I have created and hope it makes her smile – she sends me back her poem and it makes me laugh out loud.

Do pop over to Judy’s blog to enjoy more laughs and a wry look at life.

Another art piece inspired by Amy Gear, an artist born and working in Shetland.

This a link to Amy’s piece that inspired me – on Instagram

Beach Body

Linking with my cheerful cheeky playmate, Judy Martin,  for another Silly Saturday

 

Some are baggy and saggy

Some are perky and pert

Some are tiny little gnat bites

Some so big that they hurt!

 

Some are flabby and floppy

Some are bouncy double Ds

Some are wrinkled and crinkled

Some hang down to the knees!

 

Some are always kept covered

Some are all over YouTube

Have you guessed what these are yet?

Yes!     A nice pair of boobs!

~

pebble art, breasts

 

Poem by Judy Martin

Pebble Art by Sandra Dorey

Inspired by artist Amy Gear and one of the photos she posted in Instagram

We have something a little more risky for you next Saturday!

You have been warned! 😉

Edit:

Judy’s blog is, most deservably, up for an Award and I’m delighted to say so is Wild Daffodil – pop over to Sasha’a Blog and have a look to see all the different categories. You might see one of your favourite blogs there and give them a vote!